What is Life?

Is it a Curse or a Gift? 

I often wonder. Living on a edge and with uncertainty of what would happen next? 

One minute you’re happy and living well, the next your world is falling apart and you don’t know where to start laying the foundation to rebuild your castle. 

A lot of us walk around with smiles on faces, some people walk around angry looking for who to pour out the anger on. 

Some of us just have scars that would never heal. People say it would get better, you’ll be fine or it wouldn’t hurt as much over time. But those are just tales you know... because when that wound has cut deep into your flesh, it would never be the same because you stay haunted. It gets fine for sometime no lie, like the wound is all healed but a little jab and you still feel that pain like a fresh wound. 

Everyone has their demons, some people’s are meek, some people’s are vicious. 

We wake up and see someone else living the life we wish we had, but it’s different timing for each man yes? So we keep hoping... we keep praying but what if the next day, you die? Then what was your purpose? You were a good person? You were a good person but did you live your dream? Isn’t life unfair? Some people living a good life don’t even want it and you that doesn’t have it want it. How amusing is that? 

We live life everyday in a timeline, we are supposed to hustle and bustle, blood, sweat and tears or is it the fake it till you make it, but when we do all of that, where do we end up? Six feet under. 

But we all still want that good life, we all want to leave a legacy behind. Aren’t you a little pained you didn’t ask to be born only to seize existing or to be born and not have a say in how you are going to live? 

In this life, I’ll probably never be a hundred percent happy, before I’ve watched my loved ones die. I’ve felt the pain, I’ve seen their pain and they all held me dear and I held them dear and I was beside each on their sick beds and they were all taken. We prayed to this God... where were his ears? 

So when my mum is nagging me on going to church, I’m thinking what difference does it make? If it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t. 

Does God exist? Maybe, maybe not. 

But I believe in higher powers and the Supreme controller of all. 

Pray with faith and I prayed with faith and I still lost all, all three times. 

Is my life a blessing or a curse? 

To live with so much color and also so much darkness. To be torn between two worlds. 

To feel dead and to feel alive. 

How am I supposed to live knowing all I know and feeling all I feel? 

Why should I feel privileged to breathe ? 

I am literally choking mentally, 11 months in 12 months. 

But hey, you all see the hot chic with the beautiful eyes and pretty smile. 

So picture perfect, say Cheese. 

The die. 

Story of my life or story of our lives?