Men’s Heart Matter

 While dismissed a lot, men’s heart do matter. These rowdy creatures have feelings too no matter how tough they present themselves.
There are a lot of bad eggs no doubt which taints even the men with the purest intentions.
  Let’s talk about what men want and like;

• Attraction, they want to be attracted to someone who feels just as strongly for them as they do, someone willing to go to lengths for them, but be careful not to lose your self-respect because no man really finds that attractive, it’s like the gauge of a fuel tanks dropping. 
• Intimacy, yes, yes, those demons have emotions, they want to be listened to, even for a brief moment they want a shoulder they can cry on and drop the tough act. It would probably take a while to see a man at this stage, they want a safe space so they would need to know they can trust you. Every man has someone he opens up to, isn’t it more convenient to have a lover to open up to? Yeah... exactly, one who wouldn’t judge him or question his manliness or make him feel even worse. He wants a confidante just like you, let him know you care. While women might be more of emotional intimacy, men love physical intimacy, they want to feel needed (Hey! They also want you to feel needed. Actually goes both ways), engaging with him physically is also engaging with him romantically. 
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• Respect, I asked a couple of guys how they wanted to be treated in a relationship and they all stated, ‘Respect', one said "Like a Prince and that’s on period", quite amusing actually, I laughed, don’t take your jokes too far and belittle your man or hurt his feelings in the process, don’t over criticize him, compare him to other men, don’t tell him what he can’t do and focus on what he can do. Self presentation as well matters, no I don’t mean changing yourself for a man(not unless you are comfortable with that), he should also respect your life choices and style especially since he approached you that way, what I mean is don’t act single knowing you’re taken, that’s like putting yourself in a show glass asking to be taken off his hands (except he treats you poorly of course, lol), that’s a bruise to your man’s ego even if he doesn’t say it, it’s just like him acting single while he is taken, how would that make you feel? Disrespected right? If he doesn’t see a problem with what you do though that is fine, perfect, but don’t take that for granted by over doing. After all, respect shows a man that you love him. A deep sense of respect for each other in a relationship is the key to a healthy relationship.
• Love, I’m talking romance, not necessarily flowers, chocolates and jewelry, depends on the kind of man you are with actually, all men are different. Romantic gestures like chaste kisses, spontaneous texts, plans, food, surprises, dressing up for them, have inside jokes, send him memes maybe, go to your favorite hang out spots, introduce him to your friends, share secrets, let them know what you love about them, have private moments, let him off easy sometimes, especially if he seems tired or upset, let him know when you’re thinking about him (not all the time like an obsessed person), observe and note their emotions. Let him feel your presence, let him feel the love.
• Loyalty, no man wants to feel like they’ve been chosen for a certain reason, every man wants to know that his woman wouldn’t leave him no matter what because they are with him for everything he is about, not just because he tells good jokes, good in bed, popular, smart or good looking, he wants to feel like a hero, like THE MAN not an option. He wants to know that you would love him even when it’s stormy (not abuse related, if he abuses you, run!!), let him know that the challenges he faces aren’t different from the another man’s, everyone has their ups and their downs. 
• Support, when he is talking listen with intent and not just to respond because at that point he is kind of letting you see a part of himself, let him vent, give him hugs, take food to him, plan a gettaway, give him amateur massage or a professional one, whatever, be his best friend. 
• Attention, speak his love language, tolerate what he likes, don’t be his second mum, notice the things he does, words of affection, praises, gratitude, kisses, sex, make him feel wanted. They can be big babies, so spoil your man sometimes.
• Security, express positive emotions, be tolerant, be emotionally intelligent, let go of the past, give him comfort. 
• Emotional Maturity, men like when you know how to manage your emotions not unnecessarily escalate them, they like when you take responsibility for your actions.
• Fun, they want to have fun even if they’re in a relationship, it’s a relationship not a prison, even prisoners do have fun. So let him do what makes him happy and do what makes you happy. 
• Space, every once in a while everyone wants an alone time, a time to shut down and recharge, a time to just go dark, a time to breathe, reflect. So yes, don’t be on his neck all the time, sometimes he just wants that space.

                                             
Remember to smile, be yourself. Make your man happy 💋