Mummy’s Angel

 

I carefully picked out your name, Harley from Harley Quinn because I just knew you were going to be crazy even before I met you. Rain because it’s my most favorite weather, the rain brings a sense of calm and healing. 

Harley-Rain, you were the perfect fit for your name. So perfect it was like I knew you before I named you. In my tribe, they’d say, ‘a person acts like their name.’ Perhaps that was the case. You were a perfect baby.

Miss Lee, as I so fondly called you, I’m so sorry the world and its system failed you. You were robbed of years and I fought for you. You should have seen it, you should have been there to back me up with your barks for adlibs. 

I miss you so much. More than words can describe. My heart aches and I don’t know how I’ll move on. You were my baby and would forever be. I remember the first time I saw you, I looked in your eyes and just knew you were the one for me amidst other dogs. 

You brought so much joy and laughter into my life, into the life of my family and friends. You were such a rascal but you were my rascal. Playful, strong, ever loyal and clingy. I raised you, watched you grow, watched you live. 

I miss your smell, even your bad breath I always shade you for. I miss your kisses and nudges when you want to be petted. I miss your noise, the house is too quiet and weird. I miss you following me about like a shadow waving your tail eagerly watching my every move. I miss the pitter patter of your paws because you never stay in one place. 

I miss telling you things you don’t understand. I miss stalking you and smothering you with kisses and hugs till you run away from me.

I wish I could bring you back. You were more than just a dog to me, you were my best friend, my child, my love. In a world where I love my solace I found refuge in your company. In a world starving of genuine love, I basked and glowed in yours. You taught me to be selfless, to be more observant, to express love without fear. You showed me how to be a good person, a good mum. 

I would sacrifice anything down to my last dime to see you again alive and well. I keep staring into space or out the screen door hoping to see you. Wishing it’s all a prank. It happened so fast, everything did.

 I couldn’t be with you in your final moment and I regret that. I was a minute away before you passed. I hope you know that. I would never abandon you and you were loved till the very end and you still are loved by everyone. 

My cutest LinLin, Harley baby, Lee Rain, Harley Ojo,  LGBT baby, my Love, this is so hard. Ease my pain. I find it so hard to function. Talking about you in past tense makes my heart clench. Is this even real? How is this possible?

Anyone might think, ‘it’s just a dog.’ But not to me, you were so much more. I shared my pain with you, you wiped my tears, I talk to you because I have no one else. You were always there with me and for me. I’m forever indebted to you. 

After my life in this world is over. I’ll find you. For now Harley-Rain please find my daddy let him take care of you up there. Tell him about me and my sister. Have fun, be a good girl. 

I’ll hold on to our precious memories. There’s going to be no one else like you. You’re forever etched in my heart. 

Goodnight. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹